MCM Residential    MCM Commercial  MCM "Coffee Shop"  Architectural "Wonders?"

This page of cosmicool is primarily a "frustration" page. It's the result of my frustration with the junk that's being slapped up, all around my area. I just have to vent my frustrations somewhere and this is a good place to do it, right here in the Mid-Century Modern section. The crisp, clean well thought out design of the Mid-Century Modern style is such a stark contrast to the goofy new overblown mini-castles of today that I thought I would put this page here to make the point. They are Architectural "Wonders" because when you look at it you think "I wonder what the hell that's supposed to be."

Junk slapped up by the acre...
I live in the North-Texas town of Allen, just north of Dallas. In the last few years the housing developments have been going up like crazy around the Dallas-Fort Worth area. After my discovery of Howard Meyer's work in late 2002 I really started noticing how bad all the new residential stuff really is. Not that I expect all new houses to be Howard Meyer work or all of them to be modern in design. Semi-thought-out at the very least would be nice. I think the only point to any of the new houses, especially those in the $200+ range is to look as huge as possible. I don't have a formal education in architecture so I'm not an expert in design but I think I can spot overly-ornamented pretentiousness when I see it. It just has to be big, BIG, BIG!!!

Here are some examples.
Click each photo to see a larger photo with my smart alecky comments.

The "Caligula" Model.
I have no idea where to start with this so I might as well start here. This thing is located in a large-lot custom home development. There was a topless club in Dallas called Caligula that burned down a few years ago. The outside of the club was decorated in a goofy Roman theme. The Caligula topless club was the first thing I thought of when I saw this house.
Click the photo to see a larger version.

The walkway lamps of the "Caligula" Model.
These hilarious overblown lamp columns are out where the walk to the house meets the sidewalk. Sheesh! Those lamps really must be heavy to need columns like that to hold them up. As cheesy as these things are they go perfectly with the house.



The "Cluttered And Jumbled" Model
This is a typical example of the $300K range of houses that are going up by the zillions all over this area. It's a jumble of things sticking out and different materials all over the front while the back and sides are just plain brick. In other words, just a facade to be "impressive" from the street. I have an old archtecture book with a great quote about house design. "Especially avoid the pretentious use of too many contrasting materials on the front and only plain materials on the sides and rear. Design all four sides." Wow. Kind of makes sense doesn't it. Hmmmmmm....
See a worse example below....
Click the photo to see a larger version.


The "Thing Stuck Between The Gables" Model.

Caution! To avoid fainting.
Keep repeating.....
"Especially avoid the pretentious use of too many contrasting materials on the front and only plain materials on the sides and rear. Design all four sides." Keep repeating. Keep repeating.

The thing stuck in between the 2 big gables is a total mystery to me. This thing looks really funny from the side. It looks like it has a hat on it. The fake balcony railing things at the 2 windows are just hilarious. It's a balcony but it's not. Or is it????
Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.



The "Sir Lancelot" Model
When they started slapping castle turrets on these things I just gave up all hope. Every one that I have seen looks like the turret was just crammed into the front of the house. Just stuck on like they rolled it up on a truck and just attached it to the front of the house that was already there. Get a load of those mailboxes.

Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.


The "Huge 6 Column Entry" Model.
Absolutely the most monstorous entry portico I have seen.

Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.

Lopsided
The photo tells the whole story here.

Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.

The "King Arthur" Model.
This one has the funniest mini-castle entry I have seen. I felt like knocking on the door to inquire, "Is his majesty home?" All that's missing from this one is a draw-bridge and a moat. As ridiculous as that sounds it's probably only a matter of time.

Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.

Here are a couple of shots that make my "just has to be big from the front" point. These thinks look like giant ramps from the side. They slope up from the back just to make the roofs look as big as possible on the front. What a waste of material! The photo on the right is the worst I have seen. Look at the height of that gable. The peak must be 30 feet off the ground! It reminds me of those western town movie sets where there are only fronts of the buildings and the back is just the supporting lumber propping up the fake front.

The Cuckoo Clock Entry/Doll House Model.
I saved the "best" for last. I watched this thing being built from the ground up. I pass it every day on my way to and from work. It just kept getting bigger and bigger as they were building it. It looks like it was over-inflated with air. cosmicool.com associate Cameron Taylor pointed out to me that the entry looks just like a Cuckoo Clock. He's right! This one gets the cosmicool "Most Pointy" award for no less than 8 points on the front. All the emphasis with this thing is just to look as big as possible from the front. It's about one quarter as deep as it is W-I-D-E. What it really boils down to is scale. The scale is always way off. Far too large. As far as the "style" goes, I guess it's some type of English something or other. A very good friend of mine remarked after seeing one of these giants similar to this one..... "It's like something you would see at an amusement park. It's like a Disney version of an English country house. I expected, at any moment, for a window to open and one of those animatronic figures to pop out and wave mechanically at us." When he said that I almost had a stroke I was laughing so hard but it really sums it up perfectly.
Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.
More wonders......