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This page of cosmicool is primarily a "frustration" page. It's the result of my frustration with the boring McMansions that have been slapped up all around my area, and all over everywhere else, over the last several years. It would be one thing if there was a variety of styles but does EVERYTHING have to look exactly the same? I just have to vent my frustrations somewhere and this is a good place to do it, right here in the Mid-Century Modern section. The crisp, clean design of the Mid-Century Modern style is such a stark contrast to the goofy new overblown mini-castles of today that I thought I would put this page here. I don't think that everything in the world should be MCM and surely people can build whatever they want but give me a break! I came to call this page "Architectural Wonders" because when I would look at this new stuff I would think to myself "I wonder what the hell that's supposed to be."

June 2009---

My old neighborhood....
This little bit here is a new addtion to the wonders page. The orignal wonders page starts below this section with the Junk Slapped Up By The Acre section below.

I grew up in the Lake Highlands area in Northeast Dallas. My old neighborhood consists of modest mid to late 1950s homes where pre-baby boomers raised their families in the 1960s and 1970s. When I grew up the neighborhood was filled with kids running all over the place playing in front yards, exploring nearby creeks etc. Over the years those neighborhoods quieted down as the residents grew older and the kids grew-up and went their own way. Young families have been moving back into and fixing up the old houses around where my parents live which, over the last few years, gave me some hope about the neighborhood. My parents still live in the area of Ferndale road east of Northwest Hwy. I always have a special feeling when I go back into the old neighborhood no matter when I go through there even if I'm just quickly passing through.

Well, things are changing.....
The orignal mid to late 1950s modest homes are being replaced by overbearing, out-of-scale puffed-up facades. The photos below were taken on Linkwood just east of Ferndale road in northeast Dallas. The thing that has always bothered me about these new phony loads of cheese is the scale. Look at the photos below. These new things are about 3 times the height of the original houses. What the hell is the point other than to convey puffed-up self-importance. The developer who was pulling this crap buys the old houses tears them down and slaps up this stuff. Of course the signs that appear in the soon-to-be-torn-down house's front yard proudly display some stupid-assed royal crest of some sort with a lion on it. The name of the company is Royal or Royalty or Regent or Regency or some such crap. The same phony B.S. as all the other stuff like this. Like I wrote above I think that anyone can build what they want on their property but come on people! Of course this isn't only happening on Linkwood in that area it's just that there are about 4 of these things on that short section of street. To me driving through this neighborhood and coming across one of these things is similar to relaxing by listening to some quiet music and then having someone suddenly jump up and blow a fun-horn right in your face. The four photos speak for themselves.....



Original Wonders Page Starts here......

Junk slapped up by the acre...
I live in the North Texas town of Allen, just north of Dallas. In the last few years the housing developments have been going up like crazy around the Dallas-Fort Worth area. After my discovery of Howard Meyer's work in late 2002 I really started noticing how bad all the new residential stuff really is. Not that I expect all new houses to be Howard Meyer work or all of them to be modern in design. Semi-thought-out at the very least would be nice. I think the only point to any of the new houses, especially those in the $200+ range is to look as huge as possible. I don't have a formal education in architecture so I'm not an expert in design but I think I can spot overly-ornamented overdone nonsense when I see it. It just has to be big, BIG, BIG!! Not that is has to be big all over. It mainly has to look big from the front. Click photos to see larger.


The "Cluttered And Jumbled" Model
This is a typical example of the $300K range of houses that were going up by the hundreds all over this area. It's a jumble of things sticking out and different materials all over the front while the back and sides are just plain brick. In other words, just a facade to be "impressive" from the street. If I'm correct I beleive there are no less than 4 different materials on the front of this house. I see stone, shingles, siding and brick.

I have an old archtecture book with a great quote about house design. "Especially avoid the pretentious use of too many contrasting materials on the front and only plain materials on the sides and rear. Design all four sides." Wow. Kind of makes sense doesn't it.




The "Thing Stuck Between The Gables" Model.

Caution! To avoid fainting.
Keep repeating.....
"Especially avoid the pretentious use of too many contrasting materials on the front and only plain materials on the sides and rear. Design all four sides." Keep repeating. Keep repeating.

The thing stuck in between the 2 big gables is a total mystery to me. This thing looks really funny from the side. It looks like it has a hat on it. The fake balcony railing things at the 2 windows are just hilarious. It's a balcony, but it's not. Or is it???? No it's just pointless ornamentation.




The "Sir Lancelot" Model
When they started slapping castle turrets on these things I just gave up all hope. Every one that I have seen looks like the turret was just crammed into the front of the house. Just stuck on like they rolled it up on a truck and just attached it to the front of the house that was already there. Get a load of those mailboxes.





The "Huge 6 Column Entry" Model.
One of the most monstorous entry porticos I have seen.

Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.


The "King Arthur" Model.
This one has the funniest mini-castle entry I have seen. I felt like knocking on the door to inquire, "Is his majesty home?" All that's missing from this one is a draw-bridge and a moat. As ridiculous as that sounds it's probably only a matter of time.



Lopsided and Garage of Lopsided
The photos pretty much say it all here. A while after the house was completed an additional garage was added. Nothing special about the garage except the dormer. If this isn't proof that absolutely nothing new will be built without a dormer I don't know what is.

And Speaking Of Dormers....
Most Pointless Dormer Award
This one receives the cosmicool most pointless dormer award. I wonder why this thing needed a half sized dormer right on top of the front porch over the entry? It looks like a dog house up on the roof.



Just has to look big from the front...
Here are a couple of shots that make my "just has to be big from the front" point. These things look like giant ramps from the side. They slope up from the back just to make the roofs look as big as possible on the front. What a waste of material! Look at the height of that gables. The peaks must be 30 feet off the ground! It reminds me of those western town movie sets where there are only fronts of the buildings and the back is just the supporting lumber propping up the fake front.

The Cuckoo Clock Entry/Doll House Model.
I saved the "best" for last. I watched this thing being built from the ground up. I pass it every day on my way to and from work. It just kept getting bigger and bigger as they were building it. It looks like it was over-inflated with air. cosmicool.com associate Cameron Taylor pointed out to me that the entry looks just like a Cuckoo Clock. He's right! This one gets the cosmicool "Most Pointy" award for no less than 8 points on the front. All the emphasis with this thing is just to look as big as possible from the front. It's about one quarter as deep as it is W-I-D-E. What it really boils down to is scale. The scale is always way off. Far too large. As far as the "style" goes, I guess it's some type of English something or other. A very good friend of mine remarked after seeing one of these giants similar to this one..... "It's like something you would see at an amusement park. It's like a Disney version of an English country house. I expected, at any moment, for a window to open and one of those animatronic figures to pop out and wave mechanically at us." When he said that I almost had a stroke I was laughing so hard but it really sums it up perfectly.
Click the photo to see a larger version with comments.